FUNNY QUOTES ABOUT LIFE

• A man who dares to waste one hour of time has not discovered the value of life.

• No matter how bad things get, you got to go on living, even if it kills you.                                                     

• At one point in your life you either have the thing you want or the reasons why you don’t

•  Life is like a piano. White keys are happy moments & Black keys are sad moments. But remember both keys are played together to give sweet music.

•  Life is too deep for words.so don’t try to describe it -

       just live it.

•  Personally, I don't think there's intelligent life on other planets. Why should other planets be any different from this one?

• Life is painful, nasty and short... in my case it has only been painful and nasty.

•  The cost of living's going up, and the chance of livings going down.

• Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save

• There are only two tragedies in life: one is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it.

• Live your life as an exclamation, not an explanation.

• Life is not about how fast you run or how high you climb but how well you bounce.

• When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained.

• “Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save."

• "In three words I can sum up everything I’ve learned about life: it goes on.”   

 

• Believe that life is worth living and your belief will help create the fact.

    

• Here is the test to find whether your mission on Earth is finished: if you're alive, it isn't.

     

 

• There is only one difference between a long life and a good dinner: that, in the dinner, the sweets come last.

     
 

• When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained.

      

 

• My formula for living is quite simple. I get up in the morning and I go to bed at night. In between, I occupy myself as best I can.

      

• My formula for living is quite simple. I get up in the morning and I go to bed at night. In between, I occupy myself as best I can.  

• Life is like an onion; you peel off one layer at a time and sometimes you weep.                                                                                                                                                                                                      

FUNNY QUOTES ABOUT LOVE

• Love is like a  war : Easy to begin but hard to end.

• Men are like bank account.

     Without a lot of money they don't generate lot of interest.

• Love is temporary insanity

     Curable by marriage.

• I was nauseous and tingly all over. I was either in love or I had smallpox.

• You can't put a price tag on love, but you can on all its accessories.

• An archeologist is the best husband any woman can have; the older she gets, the more interested he is in her.

• Women marry men hoping they will change. Men marry women hoping they will not. So each is inevitably disappointed.                                                                

• When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing:                                                       either the car is new or the wife is.

• After a quarrel, a husband said to his wife, "You know, I was a fool when I married you." She replied, "Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn't notice.

• Love at first sight is possible, but it pays to take a second look.

• When a woman steals your husband, there is no better revenge than to let her keep him.

• Love is an electric blanket with somebody else in control of the switch.

• Marriage is a three ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering.

                                                                                                                                                  

• Your love is like honey stays on my mind like money i am so rich haters cant amount to this.

•  Love can neither be created nor destroyed. It can be transferd 4m one person 2 another with considerable loss of money.

• when i saw her the first time I thought i'm loosing myself... but wen I started loving her I felt i'm dead

• a girl is like a club house.....you cant just look at it.....YOU GOT TO GO IN.

• One of the hardest things in life is watching the person you love, love someone else.

• You can't put a price tag on love, but you can on all its accessories.

FUNNY QUOTES ABOUT LIARS

• Women are to blame for all the lying men do - they will insist on continually asking questions.

•  Man : ' That damn wife of mine is a liar!'Friend : ' How do u know?'
  Man : ' Because she said she spent the night with Claire.'
  Friend : ' So?'
  Man : ' I spent the night with Clarie.'

• If hopes were dupes, fears may be liars.

• Don't try to buy at the bottom and sell at the top. It can't be done except by  liars.                                                                                                                                                                                

• If you do not wish to be lied to, do not ask questions. If there were no questions, there would be no lies.

• Any fool can tell the truth, but it requires a man of some sense to know how to lie well.

• That's not a lie, it's a terminological inexactitude. Also, a tactical misrepresentation.

• A liar should have a good memory.

FUNNY QUOTES ABOUT SCHOOL

• 80% of the final exam will be based on the one lecture you missed and the one book you didn't read.

  

•  It is a thousand times better to have common sense without education than to have education without common sense.

•  As long as teachers give tests, there will always be prayer in schools.

• You learn something every day if you pay attention.

•  Thank goodness I was never sent to school; it would have rubbed off some of the originality.

•  My school days were the happiest days of my life; which should give you some indication of the misery I've endured over the past twenty-five years.

• When I was four years old they tried to test my IQ, they showed me this picture of three oranges and a pear. They asked me which one is different and does not belong, they taught me different was wrong.

•  Smartness runs in my family. When I went to school I was so smart my teacher was in my class for five years.

• In the first place God made idiots; that was for practice; then he made school boards.

 

• In the school I went to, they asked a kid to prove the law of gravity and he threw the teacher out of the window.

• I have never been jealous. Not even when my did finished fifth grade a year before I did.